Whether we’re 4 or 94, worrying what others think of us is natural. But when you hit menopause and your hair begins to frizz, or your skin begins to resemble the potentially distressing creases of rumpled parchment, getting to 40, or 50, or more can be something that’s drilled into many of us from an early age, that we’re “old” now, so time to settle down, be sensible, stop worrying about what we look like, and get on with the more mature life.
These are rules that we need to break, and ones we need to challenge, making other people sit up and take notice of the fact we’re not yet in our dotage, nor ready for the pipe and slippers some of our fellow multi generationals are living… Who wants to be old before we have to? Certainly not me…
By 40 at least, we’ve learned we don’t have to sit in awe of teachers, doctors, or anyone else, and recognise our own worth is just that… Worthy of happiness, worthy of respect, worthy enough to take care of ourselves…
But it all falls down to how much we like ourselves, and what we think others like us for. It shouldn’t matter, but whey hey, it really does. I want my kids to like me, I want my elderly parents to like me, and although my kids don’t have the same respect as I did for authority, fitting in at any age is still a worry.
At the age of 50, I’ve learned that I don’t need anyone else’s approval to be happy. I wish I’d learned that years ago, but sometimes life gets in the way. Especially when there are kids on the go. I’m one of those people who likes to be busy. It doesn’t really matter what kind of busy, as long as I’m doing something, writing, taking pictures, and doing my own thing. I stopped worrying about what the neighbours think, and started running. Who cares if they see my wobbly bottom jiggling as I run down the road. It’ll get smaller in time, and I’ll feel good about it.
Let go of the past.
Move forward with new thinking. Be proud of yourself for who you are now, not for who you want to be. You’ll thank me for that in the end.
True cool people will praise their friends, encourage their dreams, and stand by them in times of need.
I’ve let go of friends who only used me as a crutch, one to complain to, but if I begin to speak, they cut over me and talk about themselves. I once sat with a poison friend for two hours and the only three words I used were “yes, wow,” and “gosh.” I’ve not seen her again. What was the point. She left knowing about nothing I’ve been through and I sat there, almost counting the seconds until it was time to leave. I even played a game with myself, to could how often I said wow. A depressing 31 times….. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d been going through a major crisis, or even a tiny one come to that, but no, just regular old day-to-day. I’m so lucky having a blog to share with.
Online friends can be the most supportive and the most destructive people in the world too. Sitting behind invisible screens, with potato like avatars, or cute pets, they could be anyone, yet so many of us put a lot of weight into what is said online, and by whom. I don’t need online people to like me, although it does help make it worthwhile. Trolls will always be around, and while I don’t mind them really, they’ve given me loads of laughs, I have at times, felt a pang of something in my chest when I’ve seen a major criticism. As if I should care… Somehow it does still matter, but I’ve got better at not being in the slightest upset by it.
That’s a positive.
That’s how it should be.
Take care of you and yours, and don’t let what other people think of you, stop you doing something awesome for yourself, even if that something awesome is just a walk to the end of the street…