Today a family member stole something precious of mine. A close family member who visits our home often. He’s stolen from us in the past, but for some reason, we’ve always held onto the hope that he would be remorseful and make amends.
Now, I realise there is nothing I can do to help him any more. He’s no longer welcome in our home, and although I wouldn’t see any harm come to him, I cannot continue to allow him access to our home, and our life. That’s devastating. I’m a nurturer. It’s why I adopted my boys, and why I have my mother living with us, despite her dementia, and why I try to support my dad, although I hardly know him, yet he also has dementia. I see it as my duty. On top of that, I need to earn money to help put food on the table.
I lost three rings, two of which were diamond engagement rings. I don’t have much in the way of jewellery, so they are a big loss to me. I also cannot ever replace them. I’ve had them so long, the receipts are not findable and the valuation documents from decades ago are long gone. So not only are my rings gone, I have no way of replacing them.
And is my family member remorseful?
Not at all…
He doesn’t care.
It was a quick way of raising money for him, for whatever he so desperately wanted the money for.
I am hoping against hope, that the police will manage to track them down. I know it’s very unlikely, and yet, the thing that upsets me most, is that it’s a family member, and family should stand by each other in times of need, hurt, and good times too. I can no longer allow myself to be sucked into helping someone who sees me as an easy target, because I try to do the best for my family, all of them, extended as well as immediately close.
I’m not angry now. Just sad. Sad that someone who should be trusted, cannot be trusted, and sad that they will be out of my life. Most of all, I feel sad for the family member, who has so little compassion that he doesn’t care about who he hurts.
I’m not responsible for his actions.
Today is a very sad day for me, for my family, and for the future life of that family member. I hope his life turns around in a good direction over the next years, but I cannot be involved in helping that to happen for him.
It’s hard to let go.
For our sanity, I must.